the usual suspects

Now that R is growing up, getting a rudimentary grip on his nervous system and becoming interested in toys and the world around him, we have lots of new things to worry about as parents. For example, we recently learned that R is actually part of an international crime syndicate. Since citizenship starts at home, L and I have rounded up some local crooks and made some disturbing discoveries...



This is the crew R has been running with. This is Mr. Carrot. He may look sweet and anthropomorphic like an escaped cell of family-friendly animation, but inside he's tough. He smiles right through interrogation. He's indomitable, he's got his feet planted firmly in the ground, he's made of steel. You show him a grater, he just grins at you.






This is Senor Pina, expert in intelligence, ex-KGB double agent and the real power behind Castro. His feet are sewn on backwards because he always covers his tracks. The heart-shaped scars that mar his face earned him the nickname "Lover Boy" back when he worked the street with Putin.






No one knows what this guy is supposed to be. And that's the way he likes it. He has 96 different names in 96 different countries. Is he a caterpillar? An undersea crab? An abacus?











Here's the ringleader's muscle, Davidson Bear. He wears his name on his shirt so you'll know who's whoopin' you. He's the child of circus performing polar bears. But even though he's hard, DB also has a soft side to his personality.

Finally, we get to the brains of the operation...







You guessed it...Kaiser Soze.